Adam Lambert & The Sparkle Cows Continued

Filed under: Adam Lambert

OK, your asking what the hell is Adam Lambert and the Sparkle cows.

Sparkle Cows are the name given to the middle aged women who love Adam just like the same demographic that followed Clay Aiken were called Claymates.

These women for some reason go to record stores and buy up 5-10-20 copies of Glambert’s CD (Click HERE to see that phenomenon) , they flock to all appearances to get a picture with him and now that he’s out playing shows they are sitting at box office windows waiting for tickets to go on sale and then snatching up multiple amounts to go with their multiples copies of the CD.

This is how they feel they are supporting Adam. However, if I was Adam’s label and management I’d get out my gun, walk to the nearest empty office and stick it in my mouth because in the long run a fan base like this is DEATH! Just ask Clay Aiken.

Once the Cows realize Adam isn’t going to turn straight, take them home and band their brains out they will move onto the next target thus leaving the artist with NO SUPPORT.

You see very few younger audiences for Lambert anyone, not at shows, not at appearances, only Sparkle Cows.

Speaking of cows when Gomez was a little muchacho the teacher told me to draw a picture. After about an hour I handed her a blank sheet of paper. She said: “Gomez, what is this?”

I told her it’s a Cow eating grass. She asked where the grass was, I told her the cow ate it all, she then asked where is the cow, I said he went to find more grass. OUCH!!

[Images via MysteriosoMan.]

Posted in: January 30, 2010 at 12:14 pm

8 Responses to “Adam Lambert & The Sparkle Cows Continued”

1. 8
   FreeBird Says:
   February 12th, 2010 at 8:17 am

   You are discrimating these fans simply b/c they are not teens…why is this different from racism? THAT is how I get racism from this article, you moron!

2. 7
   Conchita RedRoofInn Says:
   February 4th, 2010 at 8:26 pm

   Late, but I was here because Eisley (so far the only “celebs” to date) pimped your site. And after reading your various posts, I naturally came to the conclusion that not much sets you apart – besides your obvious abuse on the English language, of course.

   Like I said, you have no real “ins” with Hollywood, and until you do, this site won’t go very far. I know you have the “in” on the Chad/Hayley deal, but then again, so does every Eisley fan. We know all about Warped Tour, but most others will just consider it hearsay until there’s actual proof, i.e: confession, photographs, sex tapes — God forbid.

3. 6
   Gomez Hyatt Says:
   January 31st, 2010 at 5:59 am

   Yep your right, that record of his is doing so well..Sorry for the misunderstanding.

4. 5
   Gomez Hyatt Says:
   January 31st, 2010 at 5:59 am

   If this site is so rookie why are you here? Also why bring up Hayley and Chad in an Adam Lambert thread? As for a confession, don’t need one, there are witnesses.

5. 4
   Gomez Hyatt Says:
   January 31st, 2010 at 5:58 am

   How do you get racism out of a story about Sparkle Cows?

6. 3
   FreeBird Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 5:31 pm

   I hate racism, sexism and any form of discrimination!! Why must you spread your vicious vomit & make Adam look bad? Adam doesn’t discrimate, why should you? STOP THE DISCRIMATION NOW! Ps. I’m 19 years old in case you start to get any warped ideas, u r pathetic

7. 2
   Consuela DoubleTree Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 4:40 pm

   You have no idea what you’re talking about. Adam has a huge younger fanbase that isn’t made up of cray-cray; they just don’t make as much noise because they know the Glamberts (Sparkle Cows? Really? You clearly spend too much time on VFTW) are harmful (harassing DJs to the point of blacklisting, claiming VH1 is homophobic when they removed one video to make room for another, etc., etc.) to his career. ONTD has sprouted multiple offshoots of Glambert-free communities with thousands of Lambert devotees who despise AO.

   That said, not every older fan is a cray cray Glambert. True talent doesn’t always (almost never, in fact) appeal to the younger masses. He attracts a wide range of fans (from 2 year old babies [search youtube] to legends like Brian May, Slash, Spielberg, to 90 year old grandmothers who think it’s cool that he can even exist considering how open and unapologetic he is about his sexuality.

   Also, your spelling errors and other rookie mistakes are pretty embarrassing. If you’re going to try to be the next Perez, you might want to utilize the spell check. But really, this all seems like a waste of time. None of you up-and-comers are going to be able to grasp what ONTD has, unless you start spreading some real insider info, and the Hayley Williams is a Whore story ain’t gonna cut it. We already know Sherri’’s side. Get back to us when you get Chad and/or Hayley’s confession/denial.

8. 1
   deb Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 4:00 pm

   oh, please. just because Adam appeals to all generations from 9 years to 90, does not mean the quote – unquote sparkle cows will kill his career. he has fans of all ages, and Adam is here to stay…talented beyond measure. he has a full and long career ahead of him. now, please go away or find something positive to say.